A Blue Bouquet

Tell me what I did wrong, tell me the truth for I know it's all your doing. Tell what I do now, tell me who are my friends, tell where I go out and tell what you've become. Moments shaken by trust and word of mouth, a winters rainfall hitting the walls. * I remember waking up every day to the comforts of home, a real home built on love and devotion. I remember making my way down to the beach, all alone yet so carefree, the thoughts that engulfed my mind of this vanished at sunrise and never came back until I hit down in Germany. I'm back to how it all started, square one in many respects, but the idealistic life was painted by a mistaken factor and that was you. I remember my spirit so high and light, they say I've changed but they need to look closer, the holiday blues aren't crumbling, my attitude has only gradually improved yet I'm not on fire or dancing to please, so please look away. Tell me what I'm doing now, tell me where I'm going to...

I wake up each morning to the emptiness of a double bed. The ideals I had placed before me didn't match the reality I was in, or the mindset but waking up in those arms made me realise a lot. I do miss him even though it was brief. * Novembers chill has me as cold as Decembers blues, but unlike before the silver lining is baffling for I'm not sure what or if there is one. The cold is seeping into my bones which slowly travels to my heart, unlike before I'm fighting for it, fighting for me because at the end of the day no one will and as I've casually seen, people only think of themselves, which makes me think of the trust that's been broken down so many times before. The struggles for power here aren't unnoticed, yet I still don't know if it's all in my head, I question it and ask myself a thousand times a day but still I'm struggling to find an answer. I'm assuming he likes this, the stares over the dimmed lights, the friendly nod un...