A Blue Bouquet

As I stood there under the hot water, allowing it to pour down my back and allowing it to slowly burn my skin, I got thinking; how often do we confuse misplaced feelings and to what end do we act on it?  When all we have is ourselves, can we get swept away without the great anchor of friends and can we activity trace back and crumble our memories in the hope of crumbling ourselves?  Soon after I wiped the tears from my eyes for I could see the confusion I was living in.  * I'm a firm believer in the teachings and practices of mindfulness, a simple ten minute exercise that extremely quiets the mind, restores all the balance and takes you out of the black and into the grey, but when the only personal time you get is in the shower you can easily become displaced in reality and loose your step.  It's all happened before I'm sure, to everyone at some point, simple feelings of comfort get crossed with confused emotions and ambitions, the lesser of dreams you hold crumble a...

When a chance at a different choice is available, do you really give it all you've got, accept the twisted faith by shattered believers, stand there and question it yourself or buckle up and listen when your faced with nothing but illusions? * My decision has been pretty stern since I promised myself I wouldn't slip, yet my pity, self profaned consciousness and sheer moral duty to my family have me at a questionable level of sheer challenged paths. Things aren't as fancily painted as one would hope from a suicide, yet close to 15 years later the only one on a questionable path is me. Deciding how to decorate the empty pictures above the fire place with only hope that I can fill them myself one day, for the family has grown and the unknown faces are high, yet how can you empty your feelings and trust someone again after such an ordeal and forgive the blood he came from when they shun themselves from you too? * Questionable paths have been extremely high lately, my de...