Lately I've been questioning what am I doing, a general question but a question with regards to everything at the moment - Living in Berlin, my career, my love life or issues that come from it, my past and my lack of intuitive self awareness (confidence even) when it comes to myself - It seems lately to have crashed down around me and I'm really struggling with all these things - I'm a proud man, more proud then people know & seeming weak is not in my nature, yet in retrospect that is whats caused this - my determination to be blind coupled with my lack of courage. * I am not one dimensional, as much as I would like to be sometimes, I regret to say that I'm not - like everyone, I'm complex way more then I care to admit yet my failures are seeming strong. * It's a Saturday night, I've got some candles lit and I'm slowly sinking into my pit of despair. I allow myself to stay down, I activity push myself down because it's comforting, it's ...