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Stop / Breathe / Relax

As I stop the motions of life I couldn't help but wonder; what ever happened to the boy who laughed uncontrollably, the boy who smiled every day, went out like it was no ones business and the boy who somehow harvested all that light to push those demons away?

While I look in the mirror I can see that sparkle has vanished, replaced by a slight nothingness feel and energy, dull clouds of questions seem to shimmer in the mind while the light slowly fades.
I cant help but feel trapped to this world and this place, this struggling mind state of despair only brought on by the deep breaths drawn in.

Those winter months filled with such escapism clouded the real judgement my mind made.
Those every growing addictions to prescriptions, drugs and alcohol slowed down the narrow mind state I felt so trapped in, made each day seem so fussy and free until the come down and the next hit.
The ever growing circle I welcomed for it wasn't my own, a somewhat new crowd with a somewhat new direction to force me down.
I stripped it all over, changed my outfits and pushed for something different but it was all a mask, the raw feelings held so close but only the costume would confuse those blind folk.

*
Now I see what's happened, it almost cost my everything at one stage.
Its not by chance these things happen, its with deep thought that we push ourselves for something new.
We change to adapt, change to hide from the mirror's reflection and lie to trick our mind.

While I see the past for us two fellow's, so shattered and hard has been a lesson and a testament to us both.
Never leave my side good friend, for you helped more then you know.

Stop, breathe, relax.

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