Troubled // Hunter

How do you reshape your crushed hopes, you're almost prefect reality and yourself when life throws you that curve ball ? 

It's 50/50 at the moment and if I recheck my emails again I swear I'll go insane. 

* 

This morning I awoke from a 13 hour sleep, baffled at how the hell I slept so hard in the first place when my day wasn't strenuous to begin with, but on reflection, my days lately have been a constant upheaval of emotional planning, stress and anxiety. 

I've chosen to ignore the person screaming inside my head saying "let's get the fuck out" for far too long now, in every sense I'm done now, my decision is just and should it happen it will be a bitter end to a beautiful life. 

* 

I've chased ambition before, I'm naturally a very driven person but, on reflection a step outside  yourself is possibly the worst decision you can make, regardless of the high and mental anguish that took hold, impactful decisions call for clouded emotion and before long you're stuck with a repeat for meds, was it all worth it when you could have had so much more ?

The ever changing dynamic seems glorious at first, a true giant blue sky reeling in the sweet smell of sunshine to brighten up you're day, yet, who's at home to hold your hand when the night falls and the trouble arises ? 

Simple folk call on no one my friend. 

*

Reflection is always a good thing, but delving into the mind boggling decisions you've made and actions seem unjust for the potential of the present, the beauty in now and not tomorrow is what reminds me of how fickle people are, how you've come all this way together through fortitude with what life brings, yet simple tales cast a banishing spell for perception is the devil in disguise. 

Haulted by emotional confusion and  swallowed by regret, it's a picture perfect town we live in my darling, just promise me we won't get stuck like the rest.