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Dissolution Of Self.

It happens to everyone at some point, even those people who are so positive, who one may think that their sky isn't filled with grey clouds, but it is and it does most certainly happen, some people like to call it a break down or a mid-life crisis but I prefer to think of it as, a pure dissolution of self existence.
Only manageable by self expression and positive thinking, weighting in the highs and lows of said self, managed by friends and family alike, only in the hope that one does pull through.

*
I remember nothing seemed clear or just, simple daily tasks seemed undeserving of my time and my full attention.
The people close to me slowly started to speak ever slow quietly for they knew something was up, they backed off because I was shutting myself off with an unemotional pass of remembrance.
Its funny but its true, I would stay in bed all day, barely leave the house for anything other then my job and even at that the anxiety inside myself would swell up, causing such a ripple effect I felt it a week later.
Yes a complete dissolution of self takes hold before you can see it and not long after your left alone crying small puddles into your hands and wondering why ?

*
The fragile mind is something not to be mocked, even at the best of times.
I have this friend, who I do have to credit an awful lot for over the past few months, we spoke recently of our plans, mostly emigration or there about's, but what struck me so much was the fact she said I inspired her, while sitting there I couldn't help but think the same towards her, which got me to thinking, how often are we inspired by other people and to what extent do we act on it ?
Have we as people forgotten to live in the drivers seat, here we are settling for something so mundane  something so belittling to our once nourished minds of a life created about what we want, not by what we need.

Without inspiration there's no fuel for the fire, no drive or passion, nothing to discover and nothing to ignore because this is it, everything you do is this, your life to no such end do you change in the hope of change.

I guess the point I'm trying to make is, when you settle for something other that inspiring, you fall into the fold, it slowly sucks you in and before you know it your at the therapists every other week, afraid to leave.
When did we as people stop listening to our hearts and settle for second best ?


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