A Blue Bouquet

How do you reshape your crushed hopes, you're almost prefect reality and yourself when life throws you that curve ball ?  It's 50/50 at the moment and if I recheck my emails again I swear I'll go insane.  *  This morning I awoke from a 13 hour sleep, baffled at how the hell I slept so hard in the first place when my day wasn't strenuous to begin with, but on reflection, my days lately have been a constant upheaval of emotional planning, stress and anxiety.  I've chosen to ignore the person screaming inside my head saying "let's get the fuck out" for far too long now, in every sense I'm done now, my decision is just and should it happen it will be a bitter end to a beautiful life.  *  I've chased ambition before, I'm naturally a very driven person but, on reflection a step outside  yourself is possibly the worst decision you can make, regardless of the high and mental anguish that took hold, impactful decisions call for c...

The bigger it becomes the harder it is to control right. It's a situation that's all too familiar, curled up in bed crying into a pillow because you couldn't face the light of day, people's actions confused you despite the good nature based behind them. You second guess yourself and wonder why, you try placing positive before negitive but still, somehow, one plus one equals zero.  Inflicted repercussions by people are the battle, self inflicted repercussions are the enemy and knowing how to tame yourself is the greatest challenge of all.  *  When you become engrossed in the emotion, self pity becomes second nature, fools warmth & natures correst feels all too overwhelming to comprehend as, for some it's too much of what they hope yet they can't break the cycle enough to believe it.  This isn't the voice of someone who's self inflected negative emotions have become reality, if anything it's purely reflective and outwardly seen by my own eyes for t...