A Blue Bouquet

When Were You Happy? (Contentment vs happiness)  A post I wrote almost a year ago now, when, let's say I was questioning something more worthwhile, more enriching and something more diverse than the small city I came from. The struggle wasn't with the world but with my own stubborn attitude to life, my own powerless mind consumed with failure, my lack of appreciation for myself & everything I've seemed to create - troubled pasts will always haunt you dear soul, sitting on that bench I'm sure you thought of us.  *  What I've come to understand about the people I've met here is, somehow we are all the same. Struggling with our own self righteous attitudes, our powerless minds consumed with love for another, trapped and unable to enjoy the splendour of the moment because we've got high hopes, issues with security only brought on by dark memories and sadly a feeling of pure isolation and complete unnerving anxiety.  What's the reason for us to continue t...

I've been over working lately but more accurately slaving away at my job seems to fit better.  For what, this somewhat career in the hope of praise, fulfilment and a sense of comfort - why push yourself for no return ? Lately I've caught myself asking myself the same questions.  *  It's hard when you misplace the balance and harder to regain control of things we've lost, to try and settle the playing field even and enjoy what we all so desperately want - a simple life.  I feel cheated in a way sometimes, cheated by my own self righteous attitude, cheated by the fact I haven't had my chance to grow - repetitiveness lives on regardless of where you are or who you know.  The three different women in the bakery know my order, my sandwich bar lady knows my name and talks me to like we're friends yet I don't understand a thing she says. I live by a set time impulsed by brave decisions yet  I've noticed my routine has become somewhat dim. Challenges are welcome...