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Everyone Is Lost.

Just because your crazy doesn't mean that your free. 

Perception of oneself is never true to the form we project to the wider world - even our closest friends sometimes struggle with the person we keep hidden. 
So my question is; why do we struggle with honesty, admiration and care for ourselves ? 
Why can't we be as honest with ourselves as we are when calling out our friends ? 
Why have we actively not looked past the surface in the face of fear ?

*
Reflection; 

I've had two weeks off work recently & thank fuck I did (short lived success is measured by hard work but constant drive slows you down resulting in weakly managed tactics) otherwise I would have gone crazy. But taken some time out developed my understand of the situation I've found myself in - self reflection on this blog has shown me more about myself than the memories I've got  sometimes. 
Self reflection is deemed a bad thing sometimes, they say looking back doesn't help the present we're in, yet I find it contrary to popular belief that it is the  most important thing we can do - to understand our roots, the stems our issues blossom from, the situation we've found ourselves in and how to understand our journey and steer it in a different direction. 

*
Desire; 

It filled something for the both of us, whatever the empty void felt is something I can't understand because nothing doesn't feel like anything special - when we place ourselves in that situation we feel no better, empty is hollow and to dig it down future with someone who you've no desire for simply adds to the misfortune. 
(While walking down Kottbusser Dam I was  screaming inside).

*
Faith; 

I'm always told that the problem with the computer is sitting in front of it - and they're mostly right (I'm crap with computers). 
But if you take this saying & apply (and change it somewhat) to real life the problems we mostly face are out of fear, prejudice  from strangers and our own insecurities - when we ask ourselves what the problems is it's always us, -how have we lost faith in ourselves to better ourselves ? 
When was admitting mistakes, learning from our insecurities deemed weak ? 
How has our understanding of ourselves been deemed "self centred" or "big headed" by society - why have we ultimately  lost faith in ourselves ? 
You can't grow without knowledge, acceptance and a deep understanding. 

*
It's a sudden sinking feeling that noise is all around me yet I don't care for Chinese whispers in the dark. 
You may think I'm disloyal - you can think what you like, moving past the motions of life is a virtue some people don't have - thank god I'm not one of them. 

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