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Ghosts.

This blog is suppose to be about "a blue bouquet"-one might know what I refer to or not.
We can wave our hands and move along this road of solitude, hoping that one day we find ourselves again, or we can sit in the darkness not embracing life as it happens, not enjoy the company of great friends and laughter.

See, its kind of funny how we chose these roads of life.
Do we think about it or just follow the current the carries us along the river?
I like to think we can create our own roads, only with an unreal amount of powerful positive thinking I think we can change things, change the way we think and want our life's to be.
I like to think that way, but it doesn't really happen that often.

I have bad days and good days.
My good days are great, I feel like I can take on the world!
I have a laugh with friends and have endless plans made for after work.
I love being happy, its a great way to be and I admire the people who can be happy all the time.
I don't know how they do it. 
But, my bad day's are bad.
I think back to love and I guess the distortions of love.
The reactions to the ending of what was to me, pure bliss.
The sadness, sheer pain and hearth ace I feel and sometimes like today I wanted to kill myself.

I was at the train station, waiting on the train to come, when a song with such an impression came on and I thought "hey lets change this, put on some Rhianna" but I like the pain it brings, I'm addicted to the pain it brings me.
As bad as it sounds and the sorrow it may bring I like it, I like staying in the shadow's and thinking to myself, playing the same old track over and over again in my mind, questioning the lyrics thinking "why didn't they write this differently, what went wrong for them....what's going to happen to them" questions questions question.
Its all I have, but I will never know the answer's, that's why its so hard to leave.

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