A Blue Bouquet

Everyday we change some for the good and some for the bad. We as people change without even realizing it, we grow and somewhat evolve into a deeper sense of self. Change made me push for more in my life, the job I wanted I got, a real start at something amazing. The end of a relationship wasn't needed but I'm happier for it and if truth be told, I wouldn't have been doing or going to what and where I am now. It's been 9 months since I've had sex and I'm happy about that. I didn't want to go back to my old ways and sleep around, it wouldn't have done me any good it only would have made things a lot worse and now while I look towards the one I like I'm happy I've waited, if not from him but for someone else, because I know now that I like someone and that feeling of giddy playfulness and excitement is purely amazing, but who knows what will happen. I'm happy being single but who knows what changes are around the corner. I've see...

Old joy, great friends, laughter, dipped acid adventures, tea, gossip and fights all these things I've subjected myself to forget. I've lived in the shadows of my despair for a long time. Yes I went out, laughed and had fun but in the end the battle was still waging on inside my head. I've always inflected the pain on myself, my whip of sorrow has scared my back, the tears dripped I've tasted one too many times...I am my own worse enemy. It's only in the past couple of weeks that I've learnt to live with the life I lead, the road I've found myself on is still somewhat questionable and undesirable but I'm accustom to it. The solitude I face I can happily say now is pure bliss, I enjoy my nights in alone, the free afternoons to do as I please, answer to only myself at the best of times and enjoy the relaxing noise of nothing. I can safely say this, if I hadn't have been forced down this road of self discovery I wouldn't be where I am tod...

Nothing will ever be the same for its the past. Our story cant be rewritten with anyone will may fall for. We were something to me old friend, something of a pure fairy tale. Tales passed on can be familiar but are always made up on new hope and a new despair. A cruel character lives in the hope that's fighting the bad, while we as people only try to push for the light and the endless love we crave as humans. I am my own cruel character. I'm the one hurting myself at this stage, mocking myself with everything I do, a physiological battle between the mind which is fractured in two. He puts them down because he feels unless and alone in this fight, he feels so powerless of the big D, its something that constricts around the power inside of him and slowly corrupts the mind and body. With each tight grip Roisin takes a bigger stand. Alone in this battle she tries with every fabric of her fictional being, welding her sword of hope and happiness, hoping she can inflict s...

True love, is it real? I recently told my friend that if you can fight with your boyfriend/girlfriend, really fight I mean -scream and shout, curse at each other and make each other cry endlessly but somehow hold eachother tight at night and make passionate love a few days later, well that's true love. If you can look at someone, kiss someone and embrace someone after such incidents it must be love. I remember our big fights, one in Sydney Australia then the other in Brooklyn New York. We fought like cat and dog, but still somehow pushed past it. We ignored the fact it happened because we loved each other, because at the end of the day that's us as individuals, this is our true sides, our tempers...the other side of romance and we accepted it for we knew each of us were not perfect but each of us didn't want that other to leave. Looking back on it now I still wonder what went wrong. Yes we fought, yes I got consumed and yes it was hard but was it...