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City.

I've been struggling a lot with masked emotions of fear, fear that's stolen my heart & my hope. 
I've explored the darkest parts of mind in fear, hoping that maybe I can figure it out, that I can make sense of everything.
But still to no avail, fear wins. 

* 

Today I told a friend my truth
The bitter truth
I spoke of words only in my mind 
my darkest secrets I've kept hidden 
Of the life I'm destroying, ultimately sacrificing for some strange hope. 

They say the purest water comes from the sky in the form of rain, falling down on our heads we run towards cover hiding in the most darkest of places to stay warm & dry but I've always believed the rain was a gift to wash away my sins somehow, like a present from above to restore the peace within myself.  

*
Everything is dangerous when your living on the edge, the edge of reason 
beyond telling anyone your problems
I slip it softly under my pillow
awaiting my self gratifying moment 
when I slowly turn red
slowly draw them outwards in pain 
Yet I feel no pain 
Remorse is my filling 
Empty is as a hollow as my love yet today baby while I dip in self proclaimed happiness I think of you 

*
The city has fallen for I see we are all looking for some self improved version of ourselves.
In harmony our lives are mirrored with regret, we struggle under the weight, under the heaviness of the night sky, laying awake in our beds of warmth, thinking that maybe it could be different, maybe I can try to make this a more beautiful place. 

In parallel our lives run deep dear friend, hold me tight and tell we are still 100, tell me this is worth it.  

*
Why are you afraid of love ?
Why do you let yourself go that far down, to utter dispare and disbelief, to think that no one cares or more importantly that he doesn't care ? 

All your mother and your great aunt want for you is to be happy, so please let yourself or even try at least, because the truth you hold, the power you hold for love is truly a beautiful thing. 

* 
Love; 

We destroy what's important 
What we as lovers hold dear 
We destroy ~ 
Your touch in the morning light had my tiny
hairs stand up, for your touch was foreign to my naked body 
Strange how after so long 
After so many destroyed moments 
You always seem new 








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