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Temporary Feeling.

Chasing down a wild dream 
I run away from my happiness thinking that maybe Father, it's all because of you, yet twenty years later I know better than to blame the fool who killed himself.

*
Bathing bright lights as the thunder draws me inwards, still I remember that feeling whilst sitting on that beach on a lonely summers evening.
Do I cry sometimes ?
Not nearly enough, not at all if I'm honest ~ 

I won't forgot the late March evening when you pulled me close and kissed me slightly, filled me hot and uneasy for you are beautiful.
Fleeting feelings as therapy pulled me towards a hardened stone of self destructive thinking, yet now many months later, bathing bright lights as the rain soaked my skin on that Sunday afternoon I cried myself to sleep, wet in my bed I lay, my soaked clothes tight on my skin, reminding me of the colder moments of my life. 

I'm trying to keep my head above water but somehow, something is pulling me down ~ 

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