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Power, body, me.

I gave my power.
I gave it all, all my power, my money and my body.
I made myself a slave.
A sex slave, lusting for more and more.
I gave my power away, I never thought of me.
I pushed my body so much to get power and give it away.

It wasn't you and it wasn't me it was us.
We became consumed in this power struggle, this love, this big love story.
2years, 3 continents, two Tiffany rings, one love.
The love of the name, the tradition and the power we held and the joy we felt.

But now, I see myself crumbling.
My walls, my sky high walls torn down and turned into rubble.
I'm rebuilding the walls.
So high I cant see unless I run up my turret and look out over the land, my truly lovely land I lived in, now bleak and dark and full of grey clouds.

The spring air is fresh no longer bitter and cold, there's no snow to hide the pain and suffering, no snow to cover up the scares, just fresh air, some sunshine and the urge for picnics come summer.
Summer will be fun, I will be fun once again.

The power I gave away, all that power I forgot I had is back.
I took it back with two hands.
Two hands wide open ready for the taken.
The power of doing things on my own, not answering to anyone, no one in fact.
The power to do me for a while and enjoy life for what it is, a small road in which there is an end.
There will always be a roundabout I will find myself driving crazy around and a struggle for power with someone, but its nice to know I know what road I'm driving down.

First the power will come and it is.
Soon the sex, the want and need for love will come.
Then finally me.
The me I will become after this, after the land is cleaned up and my hill top house is decorated and the summer sun is out.

Holidays will follow and in time my scare will not be seen by people.
The scare I wear everyday, running my hands over it and thinking "what if".
Life's to short to keep thinking "what if", my road is getting shorter everyday and I refuse to keep sitting on this round about of confusion.

My house is being build, my keys are sitting in the ignition and I'm going.
I'm going, going far far away.
To a place I don't know and a place where people don't know me.

Power, body, me.
I will never let that struggle consume me again.

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