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That little box.

Its funny.
There are things I would never dream of doing, things I would never even comprehend of doing until now.

See a few years ago I went a bit wild.
It was my alter ego coming out, coming out of her little box, her box which was always so black and full of pain but always up for a good time and never ever questioning anything.
She would make friends with everybody and anybody, go out all the time and dance the night away.
But she needed to be stopped, which she was.
Her box closed for a while and I settled down and started living in reality once again.
It was pleasant, it was a good change for me.
I would party at least four times a week, kiss everybody and anybody, make love here and there, not knowing names or faces, just going wild.
Wild, as wild as a horse galloping about a field in the summer sun.

She went away.
She was locked up in her box, never to be open again, and I honestly thought she wouldn't.
I didn't think I would see her again, she the mess I was consumed by.
Until lately.

Ive learned my age, I'm only 22.
I'm a baby in the real world, I have no control over my money, I cant save and I can hardly keep my feet steady and upright.

So I opened the box.
I opened it, let all that darkness and pain out and said "fuck it", and lately well, have I been experiencing life.
It all started at my friends 21
It stated with a key and ended up with rolled up twenty's and passports.
Drinking vodka for hours and hours, not knowing my name, not knowing where I was or who I was with.
It was an amazing experience.
Lately Ive been doing more and more.
Snort snort snort away my worries, there's no harm in it.
Everyone does it now and again, its like a holiday.
A quick holiday away from yourself, I dance alot and just feel pure relaxation while I'm not in my mind.
I party and I drink.
I think shes back.
And I don't care.

Its time to live a little and feel no pain.

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