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Past wishes, forgotten present.

It's all happened this year, the mask came off and the truth I was afraid of came out.

It hurts to acknowledge it's existence sometimes, yet I must for its face is mine and it's body is that of the soul I bear.
the clouded years seem only too sweet for forgotten memories were there, white clouds of far away shined in the clear sky and dismantled the mind into such a state of forgetfulness and an almost subjewed state of calm.

I wish I could let it go as its lowered for its too heavy to float with the living, yet I adore the pain for I am the masochist doing this but I can't help those dark days of solitude and slight mindfull bliss.
Chasing the memories until I crumble at my feet, crying out but wanting more, desperate to say the words of the past.

*
If it wasn't for your smile, your charm and your sheer ability to wash away the blue stains below I'd be a crumbled mess.
It was long overdue yet the shifting tides keep us at bay.

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