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The blissful sunshine.

It rained hard and I got soaked.
It felt nice to get wet, I enjoyed the rain hitting my head and dripping down my face almost cleansing my life and washing away my sins.
I like the smell of a summer's rain and I like the excitement of it too, the rush to hide and feel dry, to feel safe and warm not cold and lonely.

My sins are that I was so scared of a life without you, a life with only me.
A life without planning and dreams, a life I ultimately planned in my head and destroyed by my freedom of speech and actions, a life I made you hate and question and a life you were held captive in.

While I walk my desert, my hot desert with the sun so high belting down on my sorrow expressionist face I cant help but feel alone.
I cant help but question everything, maybe its the sun, the heat could have me going delirious but I choose not to drink.
As I walk I try to forget what remains behind me, the fire has died off and all that's left is the smell of smouldering memories, an empty heart and a book in which to consume myself with.

I thought I seen us now being somewhat what we once were, not a couple but friends.
I thought this time it would happen, the rules of life have no effect on you now, now that a big chapter has closed and another one opens, I honestly seen us being something, something friendly, something civil and something new, but I guess the heat has me seeing things.

As I walk harder and faster and while the hands start to clap, I don't think I only see the present but the  past I'm holding onto, I need to let it go but its not that easy.
My desert is long and draining, full of sunshine and heat, full of dead silence but full of distractions.

I will always walk towards the haze, I was always ponder its existence but always welcome its sunny shine and its light rain.

My foot steps cant be seen, they cant be followed I am unique to this desert, a chameleon of life.

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